ATLANTIC CITY, N. J., Jan. 27. – The missionaries went over to announce to China that there was a heaven, and now the Chinamen want to kill them to give them a chance to prove it. But some of the missionaries are showing a little doubt themselves.
The Rolling Chair Mayor.
P. S. – I see where Judge Landis exonerated Tris and Ty today. He wasn’t much late. All us paying customers exonerated ’em the day we heard it.
P. S. S. – I ordered apple sauce this morning and the waiter brought me peaches.
ALBANY, N. Y., Jan. 28. – They just had to postpone the “spoiled peaches” case these few days to give the constant followers of that case a chance to catch up. They couldn’t read that fast. Even the pictures were coming so fast they couldn’t mentally digest them.
The Mayor, In Al Smith’s Territory.
P. S. – This will set at rest all rumors as to where Speaker and Cobb are to go. Just conferred with both. Ty goes to the Claremore (Oklahoma) Giants and Tris goes to the Beverly Hills, California, nearly White Sox.
PHILADELPHIA, Pa., Jan. 29. – Arrived in Philadelphia today to attend the “sesqui-next-year-after” centennial. I visited Chicago the next year after, St. Louis the year after, and I wanted to keep my record clean. I wanted to visit this afterward, as I would much rather see the grounds than the exposition.
Well, I couldn’t find a single Philadelphian that could tell me where it was. Some had heard of it, but none of them had ever attended. Some was in favor of leaving the thing open, so it would get advertised around Philadelphia that it was there, but they didn’t want to leave it up that long.
A Visiting Mayor.
NEW YORK, N.Y., Jan. 30. – My advice to Mr. Coolidge on preparedness is slowly bearing fruit. Here are his exact words in a speech Saturday: “What we need and all that we do need for national protection is adequate protection.”
Couldn’t ask for a clearer statement than that. What a hungry man needs and all that he needs for personal sustenance is adequate food and shelter. All even a Democrat needs for self-presentation is adequate votes. All the old Mayor needs is plenty of jokes and good audiences.
The Mayor.
P. S. – I am taking care of New York while Jimmy Walker is gone to Cuba to recuperate from Tammany politicians.
ROANOKE, Va., Jan. 31. – Am down in Old Virginia, the mother of Presidents when we thought Presidents had to be aristocrats. Since we got wise to the limitations of aristocrats, Virginia has featured their ham over their Presidential timber.
Visited their Natural Bridge today, the first of the seven wonders of the world. Niagara and the Grand Canyon are a couple more. Italy’s poor marksmanship is one. Faith in prohibition enforcement is another, Claremore (Okla.) radium water and last and greatest the Democratic eternal hope.
The Mayor.
RALEIGH, N. C., Feb. 1. – Had a visit today at the home of ex-Secretary of the Navy Josephus Daniels. He had all the photographs of our navy, when we had a navy.
Wars don’t diminish our navy. It’s peace that’s so devastating. When we were attacked by the disarmament conference we had even our lifeboats shot from under us.
Other nations were anxious to confer when we were building ahead of them, but now they are ahead, so why should they confer?
The Mayor.
P. S. – Congress ought to pass a law to prohibit us conferring with anybody on anything, till we learn how.
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